Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
