12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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