Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
