I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
