I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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