i was rollin on her like bob the builder
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
