Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
