hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
she peed on how many people?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
