Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Randomize
