Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
