You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
