Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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