hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
