You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
