never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am available for nakedness
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