thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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