I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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