i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
