Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
