How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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