Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm way too hungover for life right now
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
