I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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