I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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