Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
