Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
why does every cop we meet know your name?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
