girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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