I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
