I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
