The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
