I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
