GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
