sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
