I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
