so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
