come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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