why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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