i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
