I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
