Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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