I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
