"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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