is your mom at the bar?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
