Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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