I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize