The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
