I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
