everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
