I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
