It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
