What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
