so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
